THE EYE OF THE TIGER… New Year Intentions !!!
I woke up this morning with a fierceness in my soul. It’s 2023! I’m elated, motivated and excited !
I’ve also got that “Eye-of-the-Tiger” grit that I have not experienced since I began my real estate career in 1990. In real estate, to make those big bucks, you have to “want it sooooo bad” or you may as well not start. My career now is firstly, my healing journey, that’s my full time job… and rather than bringing me the big bucks, instead it asks of me to pay into it !
On Dec 11th 2022, I tested positive for Covid. At the same time it was discovered that I also had a urinary track infection, was alarming low on potassium and that I am anemic, dehydrated and losing my voice. The cancer had spread to my T5 and T6 vertebrae, already injured from long ago… I have a few more nodes that are larger according to the latest PET scan; and on top of it all, because of the infection, I also had a horrible boil to contend with. If you could have felt my pain and the devastation in my heart you might have held my hand and never left me.
I hit a high fever mark over 106 degrees Fahrenheit and the on-call oncologist at BC Cancer sent me to the Hospital Emergency Room again! I am so grateful for our Canadian health system because being a Cancer patient I was triaged and treated immediately. I was there for a couple of days and wondered how in the heck I was going to cook Christmas Dinner like I promised my immediate family. I vowed to make it the best Christmas and it was going to be “the” Christmas where I would bring my family together and everyone would forgive and love each other and be merry!
Everyday was a guessing game in healing… first primarily from Covid and then the continuation of getting rid of the Cancer. How could I have been hit with the double “C”? I am and have been soooooo careful. I was in Greece for several months and never caught a bug; I’ve been on planes, public transportation, large spiritual venues and stayed protected. I am one of those who wears a mask everywhere at all times.
I hurt and suffered having Covid. I didn’t speak for days protecting my voice and my throat. I had to release my fear of dying with two “C” diagnoses — the fear of dying in my sleep, the fear of losing my voice, the fear of choking on anything that may go down the wrong pipe, the fear of not ever testing negative again. The doctors gave me the Paxlovid medication to expedite the treatment and healing from Covid and thank God my condition was caught early and it worked for me.
In this moment as I write this, I seem to be feeling every single cell in my body — every node where the cancer has metastasized, spread, multiplied or grown in size, where I’ve progressed to recovery, or taken two steps forward and three steps back. When I was in Greece, at first it looked like I was definitely healing, and then after a few months the conflicting results and data started coming in. Now in Canada and going on a new Chemo protocol in the next few days, I am also committed to bumping up the integrative health program. The cost is exorbitant based on my situation right now but I am determined to LIVE. I have a fire in my soul to make it all work. I declared this morning — I am going to KILL this cancer or it will kill me… and there is no way I will allow the latter.
In my firm belief from the beginning that I have this beat, I sometimes wonder (for a split second) if I have been too Pollyanna-ish about it — all sweetness, positivity and Light — however — the Truth is, this is really who I am !!! I will ALWAYS choose to see things in the Light. I will ALWAYS turn things over to the Holy Spirit to guide me through the darkness and sanctify my way. I will ALWAYS Trust in God’s Plan and listen for his/her Guidance through the prompts in my heart.
What’s coming up for me for 2023, amidst my committed healing program, is a big launch and a “coming out into the world”. There will also be a project that involves my life’s work and my love for mother ocean depicted through my underwater photography and paintings, my Spiritual Journey offered through online courses, and my story — expressed in my book … this one is a biggie and a deep work of love … so look out for these things, some of them are coming very soon ! I’m excited to share this new chapter of my journey with you!
In your moments of feeling raw despair, when you are nearly breathless from the mountain looking like it’s too steep to climb, when the fear envelops you and there is seemingly nobody there who understands and holds your hand — go deeper, love yourself more, meditate longer, pray more often, write 10 things you are grateful for in your journal, eat some ice cream, sip some red wine, watch a comedy, walk in the snow, swim in an ocean, watch a sunset, Be the demonstration of Loving Kindness — and Trust Trust Trust that you will persevere; know that you are strong and that you are the essence of Pure Love.
In full acceptance of the present moment, we can choose to be content and at peace … we can then allow our life to unfold joyfully. The miracles will always be there, guaranteed.
Live each day like it could be your last. In 2023 do the things that make your heart sing. If not now, then when?
THE EYE OF THE TIGER
Rising up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I’m back on my feet
Just a girl and her will to survive
So many times it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive
It’s the eye of the tiger…
~ Song by: Survivor
January 3rd 2023
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